Untitled

I don't blog often.  I used to post a lot of thoughts on Facebook.....on Twitter.....or other various social media sites, either out of a genuine want of attention (at least that's what people think), or an actual emotional need to put my thoughts and opinions out into the world knowing that others could see them (regardless of telling me how they feel about them.)

I think I'm getting closer to the point where I don't have to overshare anymore.  Sure, I like posting pictures of places I've been, things I've done with friends, random things I find beautiful that I come across, but I think that's normal.  We won't always have our memories, so when I grow old and senile I'd like to have something my kids can show me and say "you're not crazy, you actually did do that."  I'm really at the point where I don't feel I have to post every little random thought or observation.  If I have something important I need to get off my chest, I'm thankful to have a close group of friends that I can talk with if I need to, if something's bothering me or I'm having a rough day.

Since last Thursday I've been a ball of emotions.  I'm naturally an emotional person, especially when life events occur and send my emotions all over the place.  I lost my job last week.  I was let go because I made a decision to follow a process the way I thought it should be followed rather than asking for clarification.  I've never been fired from a job in my entire career, and to think that I could have done so very carelessly, leaves me broken and questioning my integrity.  While one part of me attempts to be optimistic, the pessimist side of me analyzes, and goes off into different scenarios and tangents of the who/what/where/why/when. 

We all reflect.  We analyze, we role play, we ask "what-if".  It's important to see the situation objectively, make a mental note of the mistakes, and make a plan to correct them.  It's important to take a step back and remove yourself from the situation for a while (which a good friend pointed out to me today) that way you can look at everything with a fresh eye and move on.  It's normal to speak with family or friends, and consult with those you trust, which I believe I've done, and which is why I'm hopeful for what the future may hold.

So I've titled this blog untitled.  At this point in my life I still feel the book of my life is untitled.  While there are many times I feel like I've lacked direction, I still enjoy living my life.  I like the person I am,  I'm happy with the way I treat others, but like most others, I'm still a work in progress.  I know that term is somewhat overused, but we are.  We try things, we learn, we make mistakes, we grow, we make more mistakes, we learn some more, and we meet some amazing people along the way.  I think that in the book of life, we write chapters, and the actual title doesn't come until the end after everything has been written and only then can we really define our lives.

I still have a lot of things to work on.  I'm 32 years old, and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life.  I do know that I truly enjoy making other people feel good and enjoy seeing others who are genuinely happy.  If I could find a career that enables me to do that (with or without technology), I think I would be ok with that.  So while I'm still on a journey of self-discovery, and I'm enjoying every minute of the ride.